Gift

I’ve had a challenging week. Struggling to help a sick child, then an ailing husband, putting aside my daily work, adding to a grocery list as we consume the remainder of what we have in the house, collapsing at 9pm. It doesn’t help that several nights passed by with only a few stolen hours of sleep. Child coughing, congested, I stumble to his room to get him back to sleep; husband restless, coughing; dog rolling around on our bed; morning light – is it morning? Amazement fills me at the start of another day when the previous night appeared endless.

So when the phone rang at home before lunchtime, I wasn’t prepared for the surprise on the other line.

A few months ago, I had submitted an application to MOCA Dream Awards on the suggestion of a family friend. MOCA stands for Minnesota Ovarian Cancer Alliance. Each year, this organization offers to fulfill a dream for a woman diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I took a chance and wrote to them about a dream that I wanted to give my mom.

The application stated to ‘dream big’. So I did.

This is part of what I wrote…

Dream: to give my parents their dream trip to Hawaii.

Since my mom’s diagnosis three years ago, my parents have been solely focused on treating and abating this disease. Stress has increased to unmanageable levels. Mom has continued to work through cancer. Retirement was pushed off indefinitely. Her infrequent trips to see her only grandson are scheduled around her weekly chemotherapy sessions and anxiety-ridden scans.

In Hawaii, for a brief time, they could put aside their daily struggles – cancer, progression, chemo, blood counts – and explore another side to life. One filled with hope and renewal; the beauty of creation occurring under their feet as they discover a part of the world only previously seen through other people’s eyes. A sensory oasis to return to when the reality of cancer, the constant visitor they’ve endured for 1,095 days comes again knocking on their door.

And I won – or, more correctly, my parents won. MOCA will be sponsoring their dream trip to Hawaii. I was stunned when I heard the news. It was a gift beyond measure coming at a time when we needed it the most.

In the last few months, my parents have been wrapped in anxiety around buying a condo down the street from their current rental. Closing was initially delayed, now tied up in paperwork that might be impossible to obtain.

Through late summer and early fall, mom changed chemotherapy treatments from one that wasn’t working to another risky and extremely expensive option. We have wrung our hands and prayed for this treatment to show more promise than its predecessor. We will know more next week after her scans.

The last thing on my mind was this dream award.

I still don’t know how I’m going to tell them about this. Perhaps I’ll send them a copy of my blog…